Recently Adele has been making headlines due to her latest viral Instagram post, showing her “dramatic” weight loss. Many headlines included click-bait titles encouraging viewers to look at the difference with how much she has lost.
When I saw the articles come up on my feed I immediately went to the comments, as I do with the majority of these kinds of topics, curious about what others’ thoughts were. This was a mistake. What I thought was a non-newsworthy article had become, unfortunately, a hot topic of discussion…
“Wow, she looks amazing now.”
“She was always gorgeous, but now she’s stunning.”
“Why did she have to loose weight when she was just fine before?”
“This really upset me that she felt she needed to lose weight. I wish she hadn’t lost the weight. I liked her better before.”
My stomach turned at some of the comments, but I was also filled with so much frustration.
Why are we even talking about this?! Why is someone’s size a subject that is headline-worthy?! Why are people upset that she lost weight?! This affects nothing about her as a person. Why can’t people just see the hard work and dedication that came before the weight loss and applaud her for that and not fixate on just her size?! As though that even matters.
Adele is an amazing human being. She’s an incredible and talented singer. She was “before” and she still is now. Nothing about that has changed. Her body size is no one’s concern. Period. Whether she is heavier or lighter, it shouldn’t define who she is as a human being.
Losing weight has so much value in our society for all the wrong reasons.
Her validation shouldn’t come from her body size.
Your admiration shouldn’t be directed towards her body size.
Most of you reading this will completely agree with everything I have said so far.
Sounds simple enough…Don’t judge…All that good stuff.
But how fast did you click that picture?
In the back of your mind were you thinking, “She looks amazing”, because looks do matter more than you’ll admit?
Or did you think, “She shouldn’t have lost anything”, so you’d feel a little better about yourself?
We are so very focused on self-image in our society. I admit I’m guilty too. My perspective has begun to slowly change as I break through my own barriers of imperfection and self-worth. Having lost over 100 lbs I have learned that there is a mental battle that comes first, before the weight loss journey. My brain still struggles with self-worth. No matter what size I am, I feel the same about myself on the inside. You are what you are in your own mind, and it’s a constant mental battle for me. My size doesn’t define any of my self-worth, but when others are so focused on “image” it is easy to lose that mental battle.
So very often have friends or family said to me, “You have lost so much weigh! You look incredible.” oblivious to the fact that I died a little bit on the inside.
Was I not incredible before? The “fat girl” inside me feels just the same as before… less worthy. Though well intended, these comments made me think that maybe my fears were right; the only way to be worth something was to be “skinny” first.
Please don’t misinterpret what I am trying to say here, I love myself. Well I’m learning to. I am proud of myself for the hard work and dedication I put in to my weight loss journey.
You want to compliment the hard work and dedication it takes a person to put their mind to something like loosing 100 lbs, GO FOR IT! I’d love it if every person who went to compliment me on my weight loss said,”How amazing that you put your mind to something you wanted to do and did it or “How impressive the dedication that must have taken.” Instead of “You look so good!”. Weight loss is something that does take an enormous amount of dedication and is one of the hardest things I have ever done. We should be proud and compliment someone who puts their mind to a challenging task and does it. Those are the conversations we should be having.
But discussions about my weight/size/looks (or anyone’s) shouldn’t be the conversation. Don’t place my body size on a scale of comparison to how “incredible” I look now to then. Headlines about Adele or anyone’s weight, should not be happening and is no ones business.
Maybe you’re reading this thinking, “this girl has some major self esteem issues” or think that “not everyone feels that way”. Who knows, maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s true. Maybe to some people, words and societies judgment doesn’t matter.
But I have spoken with so so many who feel that same way I do. Please, let’s learn together and understand; no matter what a person’s size is, it is no one’s place to discuss it. Body Size isn’t a headline. These conversations are detrimental to many. They create a toxic pattern for the next generation to think that their value is defined by what their body size is. I know first hand, it isn’t, and I don’t want that mindset for my son or for my daughter.